Man Behind Bushes - One of my boring and crappy neighbors. ( 7/8/07 )


Immobile Man - Please read my rant about lemon and blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers. ( 5/23/07 )


Phone Call Man - The king of meaningless conversations. ( 5/11/07 )


Confrontation Girl - Most fat girls want to eat you. Some like to talk... ( 4/16/07 )


Green Cap Lady - I'll do anything for tacos. Here's proof. ( 4/8/07 )


The Speedo Father - Hollywood should make a movie about this weirdo from my gym. ( 3/24/07 )


Wonderful Woman - A fat woman who stalks me at my gym. ( 3/20/07 )


Horse Face Lady - She and her two friends are even weirder than they look. ( 3/2/07 )


Sir Clicks-A-Lot - My former boss -- and almost my last boss. ( 2/21/07 )


Little Hagen Loan Man - If you offer this guy a loan, he'll kick your ass. ( 2/21/07 )


Subway Saleswoman - Featuring the next character on Heroes. ( 2/6/07 )


Acne Thong Girl - The biggest bitch at my school. ( 2/6/07 )


Weirdo on Train Man - If you've ever taken the train in a big city, no explanation needed. ( 2/1/07 )


2006 Detroit Lions - This team includes Spicoli, Ferris Bueller, Milton, E. Honda and the Emperor! ( 2/1/07 )


Queen Dog Killer - This lady's a queen and a dog killer. Duh. ( 1/24/07 )


10 Cent - Subtract 40 cents from the rapper and you get this freak-show. ( 1/19/07 )


George Wonderbread Bush (Part 1) - Bush on the war against internet gambling. ( 1/16/07 )


Soup Spice Cookie Man - Meet the man with a vocabulary of four words. ( 1/16/07 )


Dog No Joke Girl - My dog is no joke, yo! ( 1/16/07 )


Me (Part 1) - I suck at working. ( 1/8/07 )


Christmas Card Companies - Counting cards makes you go insane. ( 12/27/06 )


2006 Oakland Raiders - A picture's worth 16 games. ( 12/27/06 )


Delawhore - A page dedicated to how much Delaware sucks. ( 12/10/06 )


Total Recall Man - Fireman Fred's best friend. ( 12/10/06 )


O.J. Simpson - A review of his new book! ( 11/18/06 )


Fireman Fred - South Park should have nominated this guy for the "Douche of the Year" Award. ( 11/15/06 )


Cockblocker Extraordinare - Meet the weirdo who ruined the game I didn't have. ( 11/15/06 )


Trick or Treaters - All of the weirdos come out for Halloween ( 11/01/06 )


Coconut Girls - When a hot girl actually shows up at my gym... ( 10/25/06 )


Penny Bombers - This explains why kids should shut up until they're at least 16. ( 10/23/06 )


Guess Who Guy - Never ask me this question. ( 10/13/06 )


Robot Sushi Man - Worst restaurant experience ever. ( 9/28/06 )


MOLFMA - Read about Fat Opera Message Man before you look at this. ( 9/25/06 )


Weirdo In Pool Man - When I have kids, I'll call this guy to babysit. ( 8/24/06 )


Howie Long's Writers - Someone out there hates Howie Long's son. ( 8/22/06 )


Compliance Alliance Assholes - Not suitable for those under 18. ( 8/22/06 )


Dumb Question Man - For anyone who says "there's no such thing as a dumb question." ( 8/17/06 )


The Unibrower - Fact: People with unibrows are more likely to committ suicide. ( 8/17/06 )


Toothpaste Throw Up Man - The first Idiot on my Floor to pass away. ( 8/17/06 )


Good Ole Chomper - This old woman was probably a circus side-show freak when she was young. ( 8/17/06 )


Judge Jackass - Meet the old man who won't be buried until 2066. ( 8/10/06 )


Ghost Scuz Girl - Hottest. Smelliest. Girl. Ever. ( 8/9/06 )


Mike Tyson Chick - Make sure you get a close look at a girl the next time you try to game her. ( 8/9/06 )


Crappy Parents - Some parents don't realize that the gym isn't a good place for a party. ( 8/8/06 )


Man of Few Ketchups - If you annoy me, I turn you into an idiot on my floor. ( 8/5/06 )


Bad Chicken Man - Fat Opera Message Man was this guy's best -- and only -- friend. ( 8/3/06 )


Fat Opera Message Man - That's not his real name, but it should be. ( 8/3/06 )


A Man Named Ffffskip - Read this unless you want to fffffskip it. ( 8/1/06 )


The Shallow One - If you sleep with this girl, you may not survive the night. ( 7/31/06 )


Anti-Metrosexual - The polar opposite of Mega Metrosexuals, but just as dumb. ( 7/31/06 )


Mega Metrosexuals - God help us if the male gender is turning into this. ( 7/29/06 )


The Ice Queen - Maybe someone can melt her heart one day. ( 7/28/06 )


College Cocker President - This guy is a million times worse than Dean Wormer. ( 7/28/06 )


Professor So So So So So - Yet another professor who may or may not be human. ( 7/27/06 )


White Trash Master - Did you know white gangstaz have a fear of fat people? ( 7/26/06 )


Jotheph Scarfman - When you hear a girly scream while taking a shower, be careful... ( 7/25/06 )


Neil Goldman's Long-Lost Twin - Call Neil Goldman. I found his long-lost twin. ( 7/24/06 )


Invisible Staircase Girl - You'll cry after you hear her story. ( 7/21/06 )


Phantom of the Oprah - There is no single sentence that can do her justice. ( 7/24/06 )


Fat ROTC Guys - A pair of idiots who lived on my floor junior year. ( 7/20/06 )


Count Einstein - One of the many weird professors I had at college. ( 7/20/06 )