Idiot No. 037
O.J. Simpson

In case you have a life and don't listen to the news, you haven't heard that O.J. Simpson has written a book named If I Did It.

As you can probably guess, O.J. Simpson wants to tell his audience how he would have killed his ex-wife and his ex-wife's lover.

I couldn't find a picture of the book, I but I managed to find the original design and name. I'm not sure why O.J.'s publisher nixed this, but here it is -- an idiotsonmyfloor.com exclusive!








So, who's bold enough to publish this brilliant piece of work? Here's the publisher:






OK, now that I've shown you the front and back of O.J.'s new book, and the publisher who made all of this possible, it's time to have O.J. take us through his book.

Don't worry -- I'm leaving a lot of the juicy parts out. I don't want to spoil it for anyone who's going to buy it!

But here are O.J.'s six easy steps, along with his commentary.


Step 1: Find a Weapon







Step 2: Clean the Weapon







Step 3: Find a Good Time




Step 4: Sneak into the House and Stick in the Knife Like So!

Note: Johnnie Cochrane just walked out of his grave and issued the following statement:

"I will not have my client reenacting... I mean acting this step out in public. If I put this knit cap on, who am I? I'm still Johnnie Cochran in a knit cap ... and O.J. Simpson in a knit cap from two blocks away is still O.J. Simpson. It's no disguise. It makes no sense. If it doesn't fit. If it doesn't fit, you must acquit. Booyah!"

Moving on...


Step 5: Leave Quietly




Step 6: Taking Care of Business



DISCLAIMER: This Web page does not imply that O.J. Simpson was guilty of murder. This Web page does not imply that O.J. Simpson was innocent. This Web page does imply that O.J. Simpson is a loser and a jackass. Please don't kill me!