HAPPY SINGLES DAY!!!

Spreading Anti-Love across the nation and making fun of poor saps who spend tons of money on Valentines Day.



It's the new holiday that is sweeping the nation. Don't get me wrong; Anti-Love is not hate as some people would think. Anti-Love is just no love.

Because single people get the shaft every year, it's time for revenge. Let's count the money in our wallets and purses that we didn't spend on flowers, candy and dinner reservations. Let's shove it in the face of couples and laugh, just like they laugh at us on Feb. 14.

In a relationship? You can still celebrate Singles Day! Unlike Valentines Day, we don't exclude anyone from our festivities. Just make sure you wear blue and black -- the opposite of red and white.

What to say to someone else on Singles Day? Just walk up to a friend or a stranger and say, "I don't love you, man."


This is what a world full of anti-love would look like.

My friend Alexia recently informed me of the following: "We just learned about this in class - in Czechoslovakia, they never had Valentines Day, until advertisers from the U.S. started selling their Hallmark ideas, and now they "officially" celebrate it - it's capitalism at it's finest!"

Not just capitalist, Alexia. Barbaric! In response to this, I propose we have the Czechs celebrate our Singles Day. How do we do that? Easy:







Wow, I should be President. I would kick so much ass.

By the way, I just looked through my wallet to see how much money I saved by not celebrating Valentine's Day. After searching through the cobwebs, I found three dollar bills. But upon further inspection, I realized that one of the bills was Canadian, so in reality, I had negative-5 dollars in my wallet. Son of a bitch!

Singles Day is now and forever on Feb. 15. Help spread Singles Day and Anti-Love across the nation by sending this Web page to as many people as possible!



Singles Day Facts:

• Singles Day was created on Feb. 15, 2004.
• As I mentioned earlier, the official colors of Singles Day are blue and black -- the opposite of red and white.
• What to wear on Singles Day? Wear blue and black (i.e. black hoodie and jeans).
• Cheetos is the official snack of Singles Day. Why? Because Cheetos kick ass.
• Thanks to my friend Sim for suggesting KFC to be the official restaurant of Singles Day. Bringing someone to KFC shows them you have great taste, but you don't really care all about them.
• I want this holiday to grow and to include more things, so IM my Web site moderator at "SOS Walter" if you have any more ideas.